If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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