Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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