Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
