I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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