now i know why i became what i already was.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
