i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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