his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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