I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
