Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
too bad you live with your parents still
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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