My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
