Christians are straight up FREAKS
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
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