When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
lets start a swedish sibling band together
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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