dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
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