next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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