There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Randomize
