this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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