I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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