Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
