seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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