It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
