I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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