it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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