Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
