the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
