I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
