Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
