Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize