Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Randomize
