nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
