capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
