we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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