is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
PANTIES FOUND
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
