Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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