id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize
