White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
In other news, I just burned my penis
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize
