So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I wish life had little blips of pornography
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Randomize
