Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
