I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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