Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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