Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
