I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
