i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
