I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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