it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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