She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize