Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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