guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
She bit a glass in half.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I'm like, not good at living.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
