Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
