Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
