my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
