I'm drive I can fine osifer
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize