Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
