he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Who died my cat blue again?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
