i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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