i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
