PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
