Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
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