whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
