My cat gives me a boner
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
