I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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