I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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