I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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