it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
high people should be assigned attendants
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
