Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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