i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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